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    1. 首页 | 现代诗 | 旧体诗 | 散文诗 | 歌词 | 诗赛 | 诗译 | 小说 | 故事 | 杂文 | 散文 | 剧本 | 日记 | 童话 | 文评 | 诗论 | 留言
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      剧本 您现在的位置: 网络诗歌 >> 剧本 >> 正文
      自创原鲁迅先生《孔乙已》中的对白,改为搞笑对白
      搞笑对白,欢快,娱乐
      类别:剧本 作者:敏儿好学 日期:2019/9/3 字体: 】 阅读:
      编者按:作品塑造了一个现代孔乙己形象,语言风趣幽默。
      自创原鲁迅先生《孔乙已》中的对白,改为搞笑对白

      一个大雨倾盆的白天,孔乙已手里拿着书和一把雨伞,慢慢地走进一家客栈:
      孔乙已:店家,来盘茴香豆,一壶好酒!这么大的雨把我的书差点给弄湿了。
      店家:哎呦,客官,几时不见,您安好。
      孔乙已:吾安好。
      店家:客官,您上回在本店的酒钱还未付清。
      孔乙已:莫急,待我过些时日再一起付清。
      店家:(心想)这孔乙已身上又没钱,又要来赊账,没钱跟人家喝啥酒,不知何时孔乙已才能把酒钱结了?哎!罢了罢了!
      孔乙已坐下后不久
      孔乙已:店家,吾的酒菜何时上来?再不上来我可要走咯!(孔乙已已经等得不耐烦了)
      店家:客官您再稍等片刻,这在为您上酒菜。(店家一边打着算盘一边说)
      店小二:酒菜来呦嘿,客官,你的酒菜,让您等急了吧?您独自恶了吧?您请慢用!(心想此客官身材魁梧,堂堂七尺男子,莫非又来穷吃穷喝不成?)
      孔乙已:店家,您的菜里有苍蝇(孔乙已心里怀疑,这家店是不是黑店)
      店家:客官莫怕,这不是苍蝇,这是葱花。

      两个月后
      孔乙已又来这个酒家喝酒,而此时的孔乙已已经变成一个只能用滑板车行走的人

      孔乙已:店家,来壶好酒,外加一盘茴香豆,就拿到外面来就可,我这腿脚不利索。
      店家:呦,呵呵,店家一边看着孔乙已一边笑着说:客官怎变这幅模样?莫非您是做了坏事被人家打折腿不成?(还是嘲笑的语言)
      孔乙已:店家莫笑,吾乃是不小心走路摔的。(孔乙已心里知道这样的情景肯定会被店家嘲笑)
      店家:罢了,客官,你上回两次的酒菜钱还未付清。是否还是赊账?
      孔乙已:是也,是也,待我再过些时日再来付清。
      店家:那您稍等片刻,马上给您上酒菜。
      店小二:客官,您的酒菜来咧,您慢用(店小二把酒菜放在门槛上,再看了看孔乙已一眼然后转身走进店里)
      孔乙已吃完,慢慢坐着滑板车走了,从此以后就没再看到孔乙已,而孔乙已欠店家的酒菜钱也永远定格在那本账本上

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