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      小说 您现在的位置: 网络诗歌 >> 小说 >> 正文
      噎死·YES(幽默微小说)
      类别:小说 作者:春江青苇 日期:2019/9/27 字体: 】 阅读:
      编者按:噎死到底,最终果然噎死了。哈哈哈,下面的话还是省略了吧。
      朱九戒快乐至极,他捞到了一趟去美国考察的公干,高兴得拼命骂:老子他M的,运气真贼好!
      官场人称朱九戒为朱糊仙,看客请注意糊乃糊弄之糊,并非狐狸之狐。意为朱九戒其人长于糊弄,且往往糊而凑效,前不久,他轻松糊得一副厅级头衔。此去美国,他准备认认真真糊弄一把美国人,寻点开心。
      朱九戒坐飞机从天空掉到美国的土地上,入关时他觉得美国关检员是边拉屎边撒尿——太啰嗦,他的两只小眼轻轻转了转,决定来他个痛快的,问什么都给他M的来一个狗屁噎死(YES),反正九爷我不懂什么鸟英语,索性加大力度坚定不移地全面推行一糊到底的战略。
      美国关检员:你第一次来美国吗?
      朱九戒:噎死(YES)。
      美国关检员:你来美国所要挥霍的美金都是公款吗?
      朱九戒:噎死(YES)。
      美国关检员:你有偷盗历史吗?
      朱九戒:噎死(YES)。
      美国关检员大惊失色,打电话叫来美国警察把朱九戒带走了。
      美国警察与朱九戒谈了几个小时,朱九戒确实够种,始终坚持一个噎死(YES)糊弄到底的既定方针不变。美国警察他M的耐心不足,不想与朱九戒没完没了地瞎糊弄,突然用中文大声宣布:朱九戒因有偷盗历史,不得进入美国。
      朱九戒大为光火,他提出要打电话找特朗普糊弄,警察很快就接通了特朗普的电话,他先与特朗普嘀咕了一番,然后把电话递给了朱九戒。
      特朗普:朱家戒爷,你确实是非常会糊弄,但比我还差一小点,你真老实,连偷盗也承认,我偷人都赖着不承认。既然如比(此),我的爷爷吔,我们这次只好就这么骨头白了(再见——GOODBYS)。你回家找个凉快地方好好把偷盗的毛病改了,然后选个黄道吉日再来美国,到那时我陪你一起偷盗,嗷,他M的,不,我被你搅得神智不清了,不,不是一起偷盗,是一起糊弄,呀呀呸,也不是,你个臭戒爷,本总统被你糊弄晕了。
      朱九戒长叹一声,对着电话大叫:臭,我他M的真臭!糊仙我一不小心就实现了伟大新突破,没有糊弄到美国人,竟然成功地糊弄了自己,不经意就制造了全球第一大冤案。我身为糊仙从不偷盗,改他M的球啊!呀,呀,呀,他M的个熊,把糊仙我活活噎死(YES)了!

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    8. 作者信息
      作者:春江青苇 发表作品:89 篇
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